Eventually, well all either play or be played. Id like to give the inside scoop on how to handle these guys. Yes, Im going to make this gender specific. Can women be players too? Absolutely, but they usually arent. Even if they are, most guys wont care. I only have one problem with players, and that is, that they wont admit that they are seeing other women. Yes, I know thats the basic definition of a player. If they would just tell the women that they were not exclusive, sure they would lose a few along the way, but for the most part, the women would stay, thinking, as women always do, theyd be the one to change him. Yeah, right. Here are the rules for dealing with players: 1. Assume any guy that asks you out is a player. A little harsh, I know, but at this point, we need to assume guilt until proven innocent. You dont have the facts yet, so start from this viewpoint. 2. Find out for sure. Most players follow the same M.O. they dont return calls, they dont call when they say they will, they have sudden change of plans, they have to cancel suddenly, they have weird excuses, theyre not where they said they would be, they don't sleep over, they take a shower before they go back home. If you start to suspect someone might be playing, they probably are. One way to find out is to say, in your sweetest voice: I cant believe youre seeing just me. Youre so handsome and charming, I wouldnt be surprised if youre seeing several women. Its alright if you are. In many cases, his defenses will come down and hell admit it. 3. Once you know for sure that hes a player, you need to decide if you want to play. Dont date him hoping that hell change, because he most likely wont. If youre not looking for a serious relationship and have time to hang around and play, then go ahead. If, however, youre looking for the love of your life, dont waste your time, no matter how charming he is. 4. Dont take them seriously. If youve decided you have time to spare and are going to play for a while, think of the player as you would a child. If a child throws a tantrum, or says something hurtful, you deal with it calmly. Dont bother getting angry with a player. Its just a waste of energy and makes them feel more important. If you want to play a player, its actually very easy. After dating many players myself, I realized that the character trait that makes one a player is also that which makes one vulnerable to being played. What is it you ask? Insecurity. A player doesnt tell his women that hes seeing others, because hes afraid theyll leave. His biggest fear is losing you. How do you work this to your advantage? By making him think its a real possibility. Behave towards him as he does towards you. Players hate it when you dont return calls, arent home when they call, mention other guys, etc. I speak from experience. I caused one guy to sob hysterically when I told him I was seeing someone else; Another player climbed a tree outside my apartment to try to find out why Id stopped returning his calls; And I reduced another one to a frustrated mess, forcing him to seek advice from his famous rap star friend on how to win me over. So there you have it, a guide to playing with players. Have fun! |
