I'm sorry can be words that are much too easy to say. The notion of apology and forgiveness in relationships takes "I'm sorry" into new territory that can be very healing and actually have meaning.

The ability to apologize and to forgive is crucial to any long-term relationship. Many of us find it difficult to apologize.

In order for an apology to be genuine, at least three elements need to be present:

1) genuine remorse

2) a commitment to 'turning away' from similar behavior in the future

3) a willingness to make whatever amends might be necessary

Forgiveness can be very healing, and very difficult

There are many times in long term relationships when you just do not feel like forgiving. Forgiveness, much like genuine love, is an act of will, not just a feeling. When you forgive someone, you're not condoning his or her behavior. Your forgiveness releases you from the pain and hurt of that person's actions.

In long-term relationships there are two important parts to apology and forgiveness. The first is to clean up and put aside any old hurts and resentments. The second part involves keeping the slate clean. As issues come up, apologize, forgive and move on.

One last tip - forgive as much, or more, as you would like to be forgiven.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com