Your "Inner Game" or Psychological strength is BY FAR the most important skill to develop in order to be successful with women and dating. Do you know that how you form your beliefs and what those particular beliefs are, will unconsciously influence your ability to succeed in any area of your life? My earliest belief as a teenager was that women were unapproachable and would not be open to my advances, especially the beautiful ones. This was entirely based on the fact that the first time I asked a girl out in school many years ago was a disaster. The girl not only rejected me but really took pleasure in telling me that she would never be seen dead with me because I was not good enough for her (she only went out with popular guys in the school). In your case, hopefully, you're not that bad. So take a moment and ask yourself, what are YOUR current beliefs about women and your ability to attract them? The first thing to realize here is that any belief can be changed with the right 'mental programming.' You see, that incident served as what psychologists refer to as an 'anchor.' Every time I was in a situation where I met a woman I was attracted to, I would develop this nervousness deep in my stomach, like I didn't believe I was good enough for her, that somehow any minute now she would soon realize what a nerd I was and lose interest in me instantly. Now, isn't that interesting? I was essentially running a tape in my brain within my subconscious mind that kept taking me back to that night in school, outside my class. In contrast to this, all guys who are naturally gifted with women tend to be guys who had very positive early experiences with women. It's kind of like a self fulfilling prophecy that builds and compounds on itself, or what psychologists would call a positive feedback loop. You see, these guys tend to believe that something good will happen in a given situation and then it does happen the way they expect and generally that leads to more positive expectations of the same thing and then they get more good results and so on. It happens exactly the same way on the negative end of the spectrum, bad leads to bad and more bad. The most effective way to "erase" your negative beliefs and replace them with more positive ones is through the process of Re-framing. In essence, this means acknowledging and accepting that you have the negative beliefs in the first place, and then working to change them to the more positive ones that you would like to have. Here's a quick and very effective exercise to re-program those negative beliefs. Make a short list of every major negative event with women that you can recall from your past. Try and list as many as you can, the more the better. Then next, re-write the event not as it happened but as you wish it could have happened, (i.e. your "ideal" outcome). After producing the re-written event, get rid of the sheet of paper containing the negative event, tear it up, burn it, do whatever you want in order to destroy it. Every day at the same time, either first thing in the morning or last thing at night, read out the new, positive events to yourself at least three times very slowly and purposefully. Do this for at least a month and you will witness a significant change in your beliefs. |
